Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
