i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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