we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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