I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
