My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I could fuck to npr.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
