Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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