Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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