dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
