you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
