I smell stomach acid.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
