walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
