you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize