Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
