We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude i'm inner monologue high
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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