my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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