You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
