turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
