Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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