Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
