Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
