He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize