i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize