ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
