Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
