hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
