Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
