member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
