Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
