Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
