I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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