She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
