If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
