i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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