also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
