I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
