when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
