I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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