physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
