Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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