i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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