There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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