I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
