Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
