yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
