I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
