Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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