You're completely useless in the revolution.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
