Rock
Scissors
Fuck
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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