Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
