youre lurking in front of me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
