I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
