hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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