she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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