omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
