You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
