I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
