Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize