Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
