Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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