Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
