I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i've created a new STD.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have post one night stand depression
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
