Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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