Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
