you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
