Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
